I believe in that… to a degree. People matter, at least to me. But, it’s kind of a naïve adage, right? Who can really, truly hand pick everyone in their lives? You can do your best to dissolve draining relationships and delete the toxic “friends,” but, if you have a job, or use public transportation or need to go to the DMV or buy your own toothpaste, you will likely engage with assholes. There will be times in your life when the people surrounding you will not be good for you.
Also…surround? I don’t know about that word. Maybe I’m being too literal, but it sounds a little entitled, right? Like a princess/prince who’s hand-picked a court in the middle of which they’ll stand and admire all the good people bestowing niceness upon them.
I think the saying should be more like “seek out the good people and do everything you can to love and appreciate them, because they’re good and they deserve it. And, in turn, because they are good people, they will make your life better with their love and appreciation.”
Not as catchy, I know. But I feel like that’s the way it really works.
Everything good in my life is because of people. I’m a motivated person and will put in the hours and effort when it comes to something I care about. But every little success, every inch of progress, every moment of triumph – good people had something to do with that. And, I really, really want to make sure I remember that (maybe that’s why I’m writing a whole blog post about it). I want to remember it, because it motivates ME to look out for others. To let them know they’re valuable, to help wherever I can and to root for their success.
So, what about the duds? The deflators. You know, the human wet socks. Honestly, I don’t know what to do about them. To be truthful, my knee-jerk reaction to those people is typically anger. (“Mr. WetSock ruins EVERYTHING!!! I HATE Mr. WetSock!”) But, that’s not healthy or productive. The wet socks exist, and we have to find a way to exist with them. Maybe we should just ignore them when they’re being particularly soggy? Maybe they will watch the good people – the dreamers, the adventurers, the cheerleaders – from their damp, dark corners and be motivated to change.
And, as this is the eve of my second wedding anniversary, I would like to conclude this manifesto/ode/rant with a note about the BEST of the good people in my life – my husband. At this very moment two years ago I was sipping Gatorade and wishing away a 24 hr flu. As I crawled into bed and curled up in the fetal position I remember thinking about how I’d probably just need to “get through” my wedding day, one thought comforted me: even if the wedding doesn’t go as planned, at the end of the day I will be married to my best friend. And that’s all that matters.
But, I slept through the night, at a bagel, drank a few more Gatorades and had the most amazing day.
Happy Anniversary, my love!